Leading from Within: 4 Crucial Checks Every Leader Must Make for Effective Leadership.
I know you’re reading this thinking wow another write-up in my inbox??
Yes, consistency is something I’m working on—especially as it pertains to writing. But yes your boy is back with another thought, and don’t worry…
I’ll Keep it short…Okay, 5 More Mins.
Yeah, if you ever wondered where the 5 More Mins came from, that’s it. That’s where it comes from!
Anyways let’s get into this week’s thought.
“You’re always going to be afraid to do the thing that changes everything.”
So for those that don’t follow me on Instagram, first of all— Go do that! Secondly, I just returned a few days ago from a well-needed sabbatical. I headed out to Texas, reconnecting with my family after 23+ years.
That alone was a story to tell, one I hope I may elucidate on in the coming weeks, but today we’re going to talk about doing it.
Yes, doing the thing that you’re afraid to do… In my case, I discovered I have a deep fear of inactivity— A thing we often find bang smack in the middle of rest.
Here’s a conversation I had— One I shared briefly on Instagram— that changed the urgency of doing that very scary thing.
“I had a life-changing conversation a few weeks ago.
It was a brief 5-minute conversation with my pastor. He was sharing some of what he experienced as he returned from a 4 week sabbatical.
I told him about my need for rest however I explained the difficulties and complications attached with detaching from my usual patterns. In that moment, I found that there was a deep desire I had to run away— A soul-crushing thirst…I wanted to disappear from everything that mattered, unplug from any commitments and say no to everything.
But no, come on. I’m far too conscious that I cannot. I mean I’m too necessary to everything happening in my life, I cannot just step back. Surely right?
In that moment I found that my identity, at least a part of it, was far too buried in the comfort of being needed— Along the way it was me doing it, not HIM.
I discovered a deep fear.
Imagine if everyone I think needed me actually doesn’t. Imagine if I went away and came back to find that no one was around, scarier yet, what if things actually worked better without me?
I elucidated some of my growing fears of leadership, and this increasing call I feel and hope to honour well. I found that the thought of a break frightened me because it exposed all the holes that need to be covered.
In those short exchanges, I found that as great as it is to be useful, it’s far more powerful and In fact—necessary, to be whole.
He said these words to me, and I hope they encourage you the way they have to me.
“You’re always going to be afraid to do the thing that changes everything”
I’ve replayed his words a thousand times. Safe to say I’ve not just heard but even now, I’m still listening.
He reminded me that rest isn’t a means to an end, it’s a necessary part of the equation. And truly, when we rest, we allow ourselves to begin to feel again. One cannot be effective without first an ear close to his soul.
One cannot move a mountain if he lacks the bravery to move himself.
37.0902° N, 95.7129° W📍
For the last 3 weeks, taking time away to rest meant that I got to be a nephew again, I got to be a grandson, and in seeing my friends — I got to feel like a big brother again.
For a while, all my life seemed to become, was tiresome service to others. And I don’t at all suggest that that is bad at all, but along the way, my joy to serve became a need to serve, and the choice became a duty, and the smile became grit.
I had slowly begun to feel consumed by the parts of leadership where you have to really sacrifice—Like really!
Showing up and pouring out in such close proximity became labour-some, and the proximity of close living(discipleship) — as much as it creates the prime proximity for sensitive, effective leadership, being close to people can be painful. And pain without purpose is just pain.
And in that conversation, I realise that I had lost a deep part of myself in the day-to-day. In fact, the truth that I didn’t want to admit, was that truly, I was afraid that I may find that I may not really be needed after all.
I found that I had a deeply rooted part of my identity in leading, it wasn’t purely about serving, there was a part of me that needed it to feel alive, and as great and necessary as that is, it’s important and for the integrity of the role and my soul, to make sure I lead with great heart, but also with intentional separation. I.e The greatness of what draws people to me, comes grossly from my commitment to my values, principles, and ultimately my commitment to God.
In short, I needed to rediscover the Soul of my leadership.
If you’re this far into the read, you’re probably wondering what the takeaway might be, and as I elucidate on a few key things I believe aspiring thought leaders like yourself should make a part of your routine, I do hope you’ve been enlightened so far.
Four Internal Checks You Should Make On the Journey Of Leadership.
1. Integrity.
Leaders must be people of integrity who are committed to doing what is right, even when it is difficult or unpopular. This means being honest and transparent in their communications and keeping their promises.
Once having that conversation, I had to sit down with myself and ask the important questions, and in doing so I realised that along the way I began to take things personally, not seriously.
I deposited too much ‘Feel good’ to my service. The truth is if I only serve where it is nice to sacrifice and I get noticed, then maybe I don’t actually want to lay that thing down.
The solution?
For me, I remembered a word the Lord had put in my heart a while ago. Whenever you find your heart in contention over anything, whether it’s a new idea or a move, drop it to the floor.
So in all the difficulty to take time away and remove me from all the areas I’ve crowned myself with self-importance, I did it because it’s important that I do it.
If you seek to be a leader, then this is a key check.
2. Empathy.
Leaders must have empathy and be able to understand and relate to the people they lead. This means being able to put ourselves in others’ shoes, understanding their concerns and motivations, and treating them with respect and dignity.
And truly it’s really hard to respect someone you don’t love.
Think about it.
The necessity of this check is not all in the ability to provide the best solution, but it’s real power is hidden in the crevices of a deeply understanding heart.
You ever speak to someone and just feel understood immediately?
That’s how we should be.
We should have deep hearts that provide a safety that surpasses all understanding, but it has to come from a deep sense of peace and love for all that is outside of our choosing, and in most parts our own understanding.
We have to find a way to love something we wouldn't naturally stop and choose.
3. Self-Awareness.
Leaders must be self-aware and have a clear understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses. This means being able to recognize their own biases and limitations and seeking feedback from others to help them improve. In "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," Stephen Covey writes that self-aware leaders are able to take responsibility for their own actions and make better decisions as a result.
People like myself—Leaders like you can have one big fault. Being the person that people are drawn to whether for advice, help or just presence. We can become numb to the beatings of our own hearts. In fact, the real danger might come when we get so accurate at pointing out flaws is that we may think we are so accurate with our view of ourselves that we being to let the words of others fall deaf to our ears.
The wrap sheet of our effectiveness to others might blind us from the feedback we may need to listen to.
As already expressed in the integrity check, what are the systems you employ in your life to keep your emotions and actions in check?
It is simply impossible to truly see yourself alone, so creating a community of sharp, sincere and kind friends who are invited to speak the truth to you is essential.
And of course, get a mentor, and mentor someone. I always scream mentorship because I honestly believe there is something powerful about close challenging living, but I love the challenge of mentoring and being mentored because you sit in the middle of relationships— Yes someone looks up to you, but you also are in a position where you can be criticised, challenged and humbled.
Make the change!
4. Courage.
Leaders must have courage and be willing to take risks and make difficult decisions, even when they are unpopular. This means being willing to challenge the status quo and push for change, even in the face of opposition.
Courage is described as the ability to do something that frightens one; bravery.
The truth is you probably didn’t wake up and decide to be a leader. You probably found yourself deeply afraid one day, and you saw others afraid too, so you simply took that fear and did something about it.
Like me, you picked up a camera and began to talk about the fear, before you knew it, you had a bunch of scared people looking up to you for direction, they now think you’re less afraid, but you know the truth.
Inside you’re still afraid.
As leaders, regularly checking your heart will expose fears, but we have to challenge ourselves to continually advance. After all, we lead not because we’re necessarily the best, but because we did something about the common fear that we found ourselves amongst.
checBrené Brown, in her book "Dare to Lead," writes that leaders who have the courage to be vulnerable and take risks are the ones who are able to create innovative and successful organizations.
Our success as leaders lies deeply in our ability to be vulnerable, disciplined and brave.
I love this quote said to me by a friend, Karl Lokko, and this is where I'll round up today’s write-up.
“Fear in the company of fear is a little less afraid”
In some way, we’re all afraid, in my case, it was to do what I know I needed to do to be integral to the checks I write to you all about, and In returning back to my own environment I can safely say if you haven’t stopped— It might be worth doing so.
Be courageous and do the work that needs to be done, after all, people will follow you. At least be certain that where you’re going to is safe, and that you of all people are capable— and if you find that you are not, be courageous and do something about it.
Big love family.
Until the next 5 More Mins.
Josiah.