Pain Without Context Is Just Painful

I seldom know what to write, yet I begin each time hoping to share something timely with you all.

Today was a hard day.

I’m unsure of what’s been happening with me, but it feels like over the last 6 weeks my body has been going through so many changes (maybe it’s the 25 showing). I’ve spent much time going from doctor to A&E and back.

It’s been exhausting continually dealing with pain however it has given me a slight sense of joy.

Pain is often unbearable but I’m reminded of Romans 8:18.

Pain does something ineffable.

It interrupts your rhythm, it interrupts your decisions, it interrupts all you’ve decided is yours and reminds you that there is more outside of your control than within.

This is initially scary, but the more we can reckon how fickle we are, the more we can also recognise how and most importantly— Where to build our strength.

One of my visits to A&E this year has been my ankle.

I recently quit athletics properly (not so recent it may be a good 1+ years now) and I’ve spent the rest of my time playing other sports like badminton. Most recently throwing myself fully into basketball.

A few months back, I ended up on crutches with severely swollen tendons on my right ankle and about 4 weeks ago, I ended up again on crutches with a sprained ankle on the left.

I had a bad landing during a game, and the doctor herself talked about how lucky I was (phew)

Now you might read this and think ‘…wow you have bad luck’ but honestly I see this all in context.

See sprinting for the majority of my younger life has meant that I’ve trained my body to do movement with sheer force in one direction— Straight. If you’re a sprinter then you understand the complex biomechanics of competitive sprinting.

In other words, a lot of our training is to ensure that all the force we produce doesn’t spill in any other direction than forward.

That’s how you run fast.

And since going into other sports, it feels as if my body is breaking down, but realistically in its unique fashion— my body, as it learns new movements isn’t breaking down, but rather, it’s building up.

My point here.

Pain without context is just painful.

I could speak on the topic of pain for a lifetime because I feel like I have had so many revelations across my life, but as I attempt to rest today, I write only to remind you, that there is a story to the pain, in fact pain cultivates the environment needed for Joy.

When I think of the relationship between pain and joy, I’m always reminded of the sobriety of life and death. This thin thread twisted around each other— The imbroglio that we call life.

Think about the uncanny similitude of a funeral and the day a child is born.

If we listen closely and take a deep breath in, we can experience both the echoing wails of pain yet similarly we can’t help but be overwhelmed by the redolent scent of joy.

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Sheryl Feldman, the author of ‘A Midwife’s Story’ said this about birth.

there is power that comes to women when they give birth. They don't ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it."

When I read this I see the mother reach for the child she just pushed out. Every tiresome muscle awoken. The once weakened mother, who could barely do it, is strengthed by what’s born.

The pain laid down, and the Joy arose.

Without pain, how can one appropriately understand the beauty of that joyful moment?

If you’re someone who can relate to what I write, then I ask you this… have you allowed the pain to change your perspective?

Last story I promise.

A few months ago I experienced the worst brain/tooth/nerve/ear pain I’ve ever experienced. I found myself so shaken by the pain that I was troubled— So troubled that I hadn’t slept for more than 10 minutes burst for about 5 weeks…

To top things off, I was already on all the strongest medications I could be prescribed, yet nothing worked.

I found myself so exhausted, that in the hysteria of the moment, I noticed my prayer change.

I began to ask the Lord— What do you want me to learn in this moment?

I’m not certain I have too many profound answers to that question, but pain as it interrupts reminds you of where you are, and where He is.

And for me especially, it made me get closer and closer because where I am is way too powerless.

So that’s just it.

Sometimes we experience pain just so we can get a true sense of where we are, and how bad our condition is— Whether it might be a toothache or a sprain, we can now have an opportunity to reclaim strength in that area.

What needs to be healed, has to first be revealed.

So a gentle reminder that there is purpose right now in your pain.

Love you guys!

Josiah 👋🏾