The Warm-up.
Yo beautiful people.
Yes I know, I’ve been missing for a while, and I don’t know if I have much of an excuse. The truth is I fell off.
I was juggling a few things, and whilst doing so, I got carried away with balancing my responsibilities, and also my health. This period I can imagine has been super crazy for most. I was having a conversation with someone and man, mid-conversation I began realising how much of an enormity of the reality we have survived. I mean away from the usual complexities of life, this pandemic has been a period of shock, fear, confusion and strain. We’ve lost our freedom, we’ve lost our friends and families, and for a moment, this might just apply to me, but I lost hope.
Hope is one thing that shouldn’t be abandoned, I mean its very existence in its littlest form is enough. So long as you have it, you're better. You may not be perfect but you’re on the right side of it.
But yes, for a moment I struggled to find it. Here I am today telling you that I have it. Not in crumbs but in the whole damn loaf! My point is I am hopeful for the future. So I will be back writing and sharing a little more, and this time— Upholding better the weight that does come with life.
I must say, it feels exhilarating to be sat at my desk writing again. I mean I didn’t plan to be here, but it feels good. I guess while I have your attention, I might as well make this time fruitful, so let me share 2 lessons I learnt in my time away.
1. Don’t feel guilty
It’s super easy to feel this sadness when you end up dropping something you feel you have to carry, but to put it so simply, sometimes you can put it down.
This idea is super hard for me to comprehend sometimes, I mean being able to say I did something is an incredible thing, but to tell you the truth—sometimes it’s just ego. Sometimes we suffer because of a desire to prove something that we don’t actually have to prove. It is far more fruitful to rest and recharge than to continue a streak of low quality, dispassionate work.
I mean what use is it to climb the ladder of success if it’s on the wrong building.
Stop, rest, and don’t feel guilty.
2. Spend more time in silence
I recently came from a retreat in Wales, where we had to disconnect from our usual patterns and follow this closely prepared schedule which was aimed really at preparing our minds adequately for the sessions we had during the day. The days were super early, so at 7:30 am, we would talk a walk/run up the mountain. Whilst doing so, we were encouraged to be intentional and pray.
I did this retreat the year before and I hated this part of the retreat, but this year I particularly loved it. Not only was it nice to be out and be around this great community of people all on the same journey, but mostly because of the realisation it gave me. My world had become far too loud!
Whilst laying on the grass praying one morning, I remember hearing 3 sounds. The first sound was the continual chirping of crickets. I realised whilst laying there that I am probably in the middle of their own morning prayer lol. I chuckled to myself whilst thinking this, because at that moment—If you could read my mind, you would probably think I’m a mad man loool. But nonetheless, I don’t even remember the last time I had been at such a pace of life that I could even hear that sound.
The second sound I could hear whilst sat in my thoughts was the rhythmic call and response of sheep. One would Baa, and in an immaculate symphony, the other would respond. As the lead sheep changed his rhythm, the other would respond with the same nicely timed reply. I found it so special!
I mean think about it…
God’s creation is so harmoniously rhythmic.
It was just an amazing experience, I mean… I got to watch the mountains uncover their blankets as the clouds floated by, I got to hear this wonderous antiphony and most special of all—I got to be a participator in this beautiful display of concinnity. How breathtaking!
At that immediate moment, I realised…
I need more time in the quiet corners of his theatre. God’s theatre.
Finally, there was another sound. I often hear this sound, but for a while, I had deafened him with the seemingly urgent cacophony of my curated world. No longer did I intentionally create time to hear him, I instead would call on God to make him louder. But his voice is gentle. Many times I heard him like myself, but the words he produced were new to me, I couldn’t naturally think in that depth, so I knew it was him.
In that moment I could hear him walk me through the arrangement. I felt at peace by this still voice inside me telling me to listen closely to the rhythm, and to feel the way it all aligned with my heartbeat. I got to speak again with the holy spirit in this way that I had once done.
That for me was the mission of this retreat, to hear him speak to me.
The lesson? To simply put is to spend time in silence. Not the silence where you’re still reading or passively taking in some form of content, but the one with your devices away, your eyes and ears open to what’s happening around you. Spend more time in the uber with your headphones off. leave your AirPods at home when you walk. Let your thoughts guide you. You might really need what you find!
That’s it.
What’s New?
Well, I launched a brand. It’s called Chuks, It’s a sock brand and yeah well if you’re reading this on Tuesday the 27th of July then the store is open for another 24 hrs. Check it out and you know… see what it’s about, maybe buy a sock or two 🤷🏾♂️. But yeah this is my new baby and there’s so much that I’ve planned.
Also, there’s been a bountiful of both good and bad news, but I will be dripping them all slowly, in these weekly diary entries.
So until next time. [Next Monday]
Josiah Hyacinh
5 More Mins W/